Another Open PM to Polly

Three years ago, I had a brief and tumultuous relationship with a Facebook troll named Polly Baker. My husband, Andy, was the incumbent for a county representative seat, a position he'd won two years prior, as the Democratic underdog. The Republicans, were caught off guard by his win and launched an insidious campaign against him. In a desperate attempt to sway voters, Andy's opponent and supporters employed the traditional dirty tactics like slanderous mailers and lie-filled push poll calls. He was accused of terrorism and of being a Bin Laden sympathizer. They also sent our whole town a terrible photo of him, that they secretly took at a county board meeting, on the day after an accident in which he broke his jaw and lost his front teeth.

Andy has a very thick skin and seemed unnerved by most of it, sharing his irritation, but little anger. I am a highly sensitive and apparently, thin-skinned person who will never, ever run for political office. Watching my spouse be beaten up by the opposing party, and reading lies they made up to side track our neighbor-voters, enraged me and I made the poor decision to engage in social media battles about the election and specifically, Andy. I was outspoken on my own page, tying his characteristics as a parent and partner to his work as a public servant. I was equally outspoken about my disdain for his opponent's tactics.

Many people supported Andy, hence his re-election, but not all. A small group of Facebook users took to his campaign page regularly to troll his posts and make cutting comments. Again, Andy either replied with the facts or ignored the comments entirely. I took out all of my anger on the virtual page, taking the bait, and engaging in conversations that amounted to nothing more than me feeling bitter and frustrated.

One particular troll got the best of me: Polly Baker. After a few weeks of sparring with Polly, I wanted to know who Polly was. What did she do for work? Who was she related to? Did she know the candidate? What kind of posts was she making? I obsessed over finding out more about Polly. As we bantered, I checked out her profile and noted that she had no friends and a generic photo of our village. Her profile said she attended Cornell University but the school's directory did not have her name listed. A Google search pointed me to Ben Franklin's alias and a tale of a woman put on trial for having an illegitimate child. All of my sleuthing led me to the conclusion that Polly Baker was an alias for a troll, a local community member who had chosen to hide their identity in order to safely harass Andy, and mostly me.

I wanted to know who Polly was. I desperately wanted closure with Polly in order to heal and to move on from a painful experience that left me feeling raw and sad about my community. I wrote her an open letter. She never replied. I still don't know the identity of Polly Baker and I likely never will. Yet, today, I write another open PM to Polly because I am sure she cast her ballot for Donald Trump and I want to know why.

Dear Polly,

Hey! It's been years! How are you? Can you believe 2020? Whew! These sure are unprecedented times, aren't they? I hope you are hanging in there. And now, it's election day! Can you feel the electricity in the air?

Can we speak frankly, Polly? We have had some heated discussions, agreeing to disagree, you know what I mean? I know you won't hide what you think. I trust you will be honest with me, so here goes.

Trump's election left me dumbfounded because I didn't realize so many Americans believe in his ideals, which to me are full of hatred. I can not see past this. But I know people I have grown up with people, I have work alongside people, and respect people who believe that Donald Trump has made America great again. I have called upon Trump supporters on my social media. In an effort to connect on a political level with someone I am connected to in another part of my life, I asked why Trump supporters cast their vote for our current president. I have had very few social media friends and followers share their perspective with me and it has left me feeling just as confused and concerned as I was four years ago on this very day.

Will you tell me, Polly? Why do you support Donald Trump?

Polly, can you tell me? Are you an anti-abortion advocate but not in support of LGBTQ rights? If you are, can you tell me more about why you don't support trans lives? Why don't you think that gay families deserve the same marriage rights as heterosexual couples? Why are you willing to fight for the life of an unborn human but ask them to fight for their life if they don't follow your path?

Can you tell me why you believe a wall should be built at our border with Mexico? Do you know your own family's story of immigrating to America? Did your ancestors come here in search of a better life? To escape hardship? When did we decide that our country was "full" and we could no longer be a place for all? If all lives matter, why do we not welcome everyone to our country to join us in making America great?

Trump has said some really terrible things about women. Do you identify as female, Polly? I do and I have two children who also identify as female. Donald Trump suggested men should grab women by the pussy. I really don't want anyone grabbing my pussy (unless I ask them to) and I don't want my daughters' pussies grabbed without their consent first. What is your reaction to Trump's comments? As a women, are you ok if men grab your pussy? The President should serve as a mentor to our nation and a role model for our children. Polly, do you have kids? What do you say to them about this? If your daughter came home and said a boy grabbed her vagina, what would your response be? What if he said he heard it from Donald Trump?

Polly, do you remember when Trump mocked a reporter with a disability? I'm not sure if you knew this, but my child has a disability. You may agree with me that children are gifts from God and she sure is. She is such a special person and all I want is for her to live her life to her fullest. Maybe some day she will be a national reporter. I thought of her when Trump mocked the reporter and I wondered how she would feel if the leader of our country mocked her for something she can't control. If my kid told you that Trump's actions deeply impacted her and made her question her worth, what would you say to her? I have to have these conversations with my girls and I wonder if you've had them with anyone in your life that you love.

If I told you that black lives matter would you reply that all lives matter? Polly, tell me more about what these statements mean to you. Why is this a response to communities rising up and acknowledging wrong doings and the need to fight for justice? Trump says he has done more for the black community than any other president. Do you know what he has done? I can't find any evidence to back up his claims.

My list of reasons why I would never, ever, ever, ever vote for Donald Trump is long and these are just a few issues I have with our nation's leader. Polly, I could sit down with you for hours, picking your brain, but I have work to do, which includes preparing in case I have to tell my daughters that Trump has won this election. I pray that is not the case but only time will tell.

If you are out there, Polly, I have so many unanswered questions. Don't be shy, reach out. I am your neighbor.

We are in this together. Aren't we?

See you at the polls.