From Keto to Cake: My Quarantine Diet

I tried the keto diet in January. It was my first foray into the world of dieting. I did lots of research in the weeks leading up to the start date, reading blogs, following keto-themed Instagram pages and preparing my keto shopping list. I decided I'd test the waters and eat keto foods for 7 days. While the first five days were horrible, I found that, over time, my body stopped craving sugar, bread and chocolate. I also found that it was fairly easy to make keto meals for myself and I even enjoyed them. While my main goal was to test how my body reacted to removing sugar and a high level of carbs from my diet, I confess that I also hoped to lose weight.

I know what you're thinking.

"You're not fat!"

" You are so skinny!"

" Diets are so bad for you!"

"You are setting a bad example for your daughters."

Here's what I'm thinking.

"I know."

"Ok."

"Sure."

"Am I?"

For someone who has thought very little about my relationship with food, I tried keto because I wanted to test my ability to modify my eating and see what happened to my body when I removed certain foods from my diet. I've felt tired and sluggish over the last two years and I retired from running after a series of injuries. I also paved a more positive path with my mental health and I am now managing my anxiety. This is for the better but I learned that, when I am anxious, I am always moving. When I feel less anxious, my body doesn't feel the need to burn off the jitters, leading to a happy yet more sedentary lifestyle.

I closed January five pounds lighter and proud that I set a goal and accomplished it. I decided that I was not interested in continuing the keto eating, but I now had some tools in my toolbox to continue reducing high carbs and sugar from my diet. But, I would put a pause on the plan, just for a month.

We left for Paris on February 13th and by February 14th I was sitting by the Seine stuffing my face with crepes and Nutella. I ate more crepes than I could count, and lots of other delicious foods. in addition to wine and champagne. I didn't feel guilty about any bite or sip I took.

I'd planned to get back to a sugar-free, low-carb meal plan upon our return. Yet, we arrived at our house at 4 am on Monday the 24th of February and we all went to work and school that day. We had no groceries in our house. That evening, I couldn't even think of eating as I dry heaved into the toilet bowl. The jet lag lasted for at least five days and I grabbed breakfast, lunch and dinner on the go until we could grocery shop that weekend.

Fast forward. Within a week of returning from our vacation, the Louvre shut its doors. Days later, all of the attractions we'd visited, and restaurants we'd eaten at, closed their doors. A month later and we are a world in quarantine. It feels like much more time has passed since we were in Paris and January, and my keto diet, are distant memories.

To pass the time, and do something together. Charlotte and I have been baking. Unlike me, she has a natural talent in the kitchen. She has made cookies, pie, scones, and french toast. Each treat has been delicious right out of the oven and equally yummy as an afternoon snack with tea. When boasting to a friend about Charlotte's talents in the kitchen, she suggested moving Charlotte towards making meals and moving away from baked goods. When Caroline's nutritionist called this week to check in, I confessed that all bets were off and, while a fruit and a veggie still appear on the kids' plates, we are eating a lot of treats. The nutritionist has always been a support to me and a champion, never a critic. She said, "I really just called to tell you that you are doing a great job. You are always too hard on yourself."

I am struggling with coming to terms with what is happening right now. Every day brings a new worry- how to manage kids and work, the economy crashing around us, and of course, what will happen if we get the virus. I can't control much so it would be easy for me to control my eating. I've done it before. Am I stress eating? Yes. Am I eating out of boredom? Sure. Will I be fatter when we can finally leave our homes and discover our new normal? Most definitely. Do I care right now? Nope.