Living with Teen Girls: Part One

I live in a house with two girls, ages 10 and 14. We have lived almost every moment of each day of the last year together. My girls spend a lot of time watching weird videos and shows on their devices, and when they aren't nose in a screen, they fight with one another. Between these activities, we have snippets of conversations.

These are questions we asked today:

Me: How do I get my iPhone screen brighter?

10-year-old: When was the last time daddy turned you on?

Me: How do I turn the flashlight off?

14-year-old: Why do I get in trouble when I call my sister an a-hole, but she didn’t get in trouble for calling me one?

Me: Did you take a shower today or put on deodorant?

Kids: Did you take a shower today or put on deodorant?

Me: How do I turn off the TV?

14-year-old: Can I take off my bra now?

Me: Have you seen my purse? Or my car keys? Or my phone? Or that twenty dollar bill that was in my wallet?

10-year-old: Have you seen my iPad? Or my iPhone? Or my Chrome book? Or my lap top?

Me: Should we have pasta for dinner?

10-year-old: Yes!

14-year-old: No!

Me: Why are there dirty socks in the bookshelf?

10-year-old: Have you seen my socks?

Me: Are you watching weird Gotcha Life videos about sex stuff?

14-year-old: Why don’t you go away?

Me: Anybody want to go for a walk with me? Or play a board game?

14-year-old: Can you stop talking?

10-year-old: Can you get out of my TikTok video?

Me: Did you use use my make-up again?

10-year old: Why are you looking at me?

Me: Why am I so tired?

14-year-old: Why am I so angry?

Me: Can you put your dishes away? Why are there candy wrappers under the couch? Is anyone listening to me? Anyone?

Silence.