Revealing My Soul One Search At a Time

We can never see someone's soul. We will never be able to know what someone is truly thinking or feeling. We can try but it is impossible. First, you must stop what you are doing, be present, move beyond your own thoughts and assumptions, and listen wholeheartedly. Second, people will make it as hard as possible for you to know them- at a soul level. I have learned that very few people people want you to see who they really are. Maybe it's because they feel no need for you to be a part of the core of their being, because it is only meant for them. Maybe it is because they are afraid of being hurt or judged. Maybe it is because there is no room for you, or they are still trying to figure out who they are before you start figuring it out, too.

Without knowing who someone really is, all we can see is what they project. People have long been presenting an image of themselves that may or may not be the same person they are in the comfort of their home or in the privacy of their thoughts. The rise of social media, and the actions we take on these forums, has fascinated me because it has allowed us full power to curate our projected images- and to the largest audience imaginable. We are all now celebrities and the paparazzi at the same time.

Yesterday, I took Charlotte skiing and I can't downhill ski with confidence and she is still learning. While my friend took her out to the slopes, I grabbed a book, a coffee and I watched people. I was fascinated by the number of people walking around, getting ready to ride the lifts, or enjoying a drink, who were taking selfies. Each would spend several moments moving the phone around, tilting their heads as though they were being directed by the elementary school photographer. Most of these people at least looked like they were having fun and their smiling face selfie reflected that. However, we have all seen the situation where people clearly look unhappy, angry or miserable before watching the frowns turn upside down for a carefully crafted social media moment. Or the perfect holiday card. Oh, aren't we all cute in our matching jammies?! We all know little Susie called her sister a f-ing biotch right before this pic was snapped. Maybe in 20 years we will have forgotten that detail and remember what a happy family we were.

I am not pointing fingers. I do this, too. For those who follow me on Instagram, or read this blog, you know that I

am more likely to share parts of my soul with you through these mediums. Facebook is not my place for that. I feel more comfortable finding my soul, and sharing it with you, through my written words, and for some reason, a small snap shot, with a few words of struggle, feels safe on Instagram. Some call me brave for sharing these details celebrity- style in my tell-all biography. But,I am curating this story, too. For every soul-bearing story I share with you, there's something heavier under the surface that I keep locked up, hidden. Yes, even me. I like to share "ugly" pictures of myself as a sarcastic response to our obsession with selfies, but I have chosen that photo thoughtfully. When Andy takes a candid of me and posts it, I am so angry at him for that is not the ugly I wanted to share.

This week, I figured it out. If you want to start tapping into someone's inner thoughts, you can do one simple thing. You don't even have to sit with them, look at them, or listen to them! You just need to look at their Google search history. This week has felt like a series of Mondays. To reflect on the week behind me, I decided to take a glimpse at my own personal Google searches for the week. In sharing these, I believe you will begin to see my true, innermost thoughts, You will begin to discover my hopes, dreams and fears, as well as some of the hopes, dreams and fears of my family. Here we go:

Is mayonnaise keto?

What chocolate is keto?

Is rice keto?

Is hummus keto?

Avocado keto recipes

Keto recipes

Is honey almond butter keto?

Are strawberries keto?

When will I stop hating myself for trying to eat keto?

If I am in a plane crash in Antarctica and I'm starving and I need to eat someone, will I still stay in ketosis?

What is the weather for the next seven days?

What happens if you get the cotton part of a Q-Tip stuck up your nose?

Is it bad if you tie floss around a skin tag and it starts to get red and itchy?

What is the number for urgent care?

Is meatloaf keto?

What is the weather for the next seven days?

How old is Joe Jonas?

Solar system

Scrabble rules

What is the name of the guy in Little Women?

Ukraine plane crash

Australia fires

What wine is keto?

Melatonin upset stomach

Why do I pee so much at night?

How to write an accent over an e

Big bang theory

Black and white bathrooms

Rosa Parks

How to make slime

Describe climate change to kids

Is cottage cheese keto?

Ski conditions CNY

What the seven day forecast?

Optional ethnic identities

Kid back packs

Durable black leggings

Golden Girls

How to clean dried dog poop off a wood floor

NYS Family Day of Empowerment

Zack Morris is Trash

Do you poop a little when you fart?

There you have it. I hope this has illuminated a bit about my soul. What's in your Google search history? What does it say about your soul? What would happen if you dared to share your search history? I dare you. Try it!

Next week, a deeper look into my soul: Incognito mode.