The 12 Months of Forty

As (loosely) sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"

In the first month of 40, my aging body gave to me,

a fat and flabby belly.

In the second month of 40, my aging body gave to me,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the third month of 40, my aging body gave to me,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the fourth month of 40, my aging body gave to me,

osteoporosis,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the fifth month of 40, my aging body gave to me

decreased sex drive!!!

osteoporosis,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the sixth month of 40, my aging body gave to me

everything hanging,

decreased sex drive!!!

osteoporosis,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the seventh month of 40, my aging body gave to me

spectacles for reading,

everything hanging,

decreased sex drive!!!

osteoporosis,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the eight month of 40, my aging body gave to me

loss of my hearing,

spectacles for reading,

everything hanging,

decreased sex drive!!!

osteoporosis,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the ninth month of 40, my aging body gave to me

old lady hands texting,

loss of my hearing,

spectacles for reading,

everything hanging,

decreased sex drive!!!

osteoporosis,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the tenth month of 40, my aging body gave to me

tons of loose skin flapping,

old lady hands texting,

loss of my hearing,

spectacles for reading,

everything hanging,

decreased sex drive!

osteoporosis,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the eleventh month of 40, my aging body gave to me

a hard time remembering,

tons of loose skin flapping,

old lady hands texting,

loss of my hearing,

spectacles for reading,

everything hanging,

decreased sex drive!

osteoporosis,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

In the twelfth month of 40, my aging body gave to me

time spent night sweating,

a hard time remembering,

tons of loose skin flapping,

old lady hands texting,

loss of my hearing,

spectacles for reading,

everything hanging,

decreased sex drive!

osteoporosis,

perimenopause,

fluctuating hormones, and

a fat and flabby belly.

Happy Holidays! XOXO