What My Teen Daughters and I Fought About This Week

• I moved a pair of boots from under a chair to the mudroom.

• She got something sticky on her coat and I didn’t know and didn’t wash it.*

• I didn't turn fast enough to see the cat stretch.

• I said no watching devices while pooping.

• I checked her hands after she said she washed them and they were dry.*

• I asked her to brush her teeth.

• She asked where her shoes were. I said look down.

• I hugged her when she got on the bus.

• I didn’t hug her when she got on the bus.

• There was no frozen edamame at the grocery store so I couldn’t buy any.

• I said, “Get your homework done before dinner.”

• I wouldn’t let her get have her Christmas presents yet.*

• I sang out loud.

• Whether or not Lafayette dies in Hamilton.

• I told her that she couldn’t take her sister’s stuff, wrap it up, and give it to a friend for Christmas.*

• I asked them to let the dog in.

• She called her an asshole and I replied, “it’s true”.*

*denotes screaming