Fairy Facebook Troll

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of having a fairy Godmother or a Good Witch in my life, just like Cinderella or Dorothy did. If only there was a magical woman, who traveled invisibly with me through life, only to reveal herself in moments when I needed just a little sparkle and magic to get through a challenging situation.

Until I was about 18, I'd say my Fairy Godmother was actually my Fairy Mother. She couldn't always make things magical, but she was certainly more or less invisible in the family, demanded the least amount of attention, and always seemed to magically appear when something needed fixing. Scraped my knee? Mom shows up with a band-aid. Need new tights for the dance recital? Mom brings them home from the store the night before. Feel like throwing up? Mom's got the bucket in one hand and the bleach in the other.

After I left my mom's house for the wild west of adulthood, there was no invisible Fairy by my side. At least not on a regular basis. Yet, I've noticed that sometimes little, magical things happen that help me get over the bumps in the road. Like when I have to work on a Saturday and Andy tells me on Friday night that he has to work, and I can't find a sitter (despite a flurry of Friday night social media posts and dozens of text messages), and then Andy's meeting gets canceled Saturday morning as I am packing the kids an emergency-come-to-work-with-mom bag. Thank you, Good Witch, for looking out for me. Or when I find out that the kids have been sharing a tooth brush for the last 2 weeks and I ransack the house for all of the tooth brushes we get for free at the dentist, and I find them an hour later under a chair in Charlotte's craft room when I am cleaning glitter off the floor with a wet paper towel. Aww yeah, that's my Fairy Godmother at work.

While the magical woman looking out for me keeps her presence in my life on the down low, there is another creature in my life who makes its presence known on a much more visible, and regular, basis. Thanks to the introduction of social media to our lives, I can say that I have a Fairy Facebook Troll. I'm so lucky that I've even had more than one over the last decade but they have become most prevalent over the last two years. (Hmm...I wonder why?)

It never fails that, at least twice a week, if not more, when I post something to social media, my Fairy Troll is there, lurking in the shadows of the interwebs, waiting for me. Post about my enthusiasm for a new, exciting female leader in politics? My Troll drags itself from under the internet bridge, where it lives with its hoarded social media posts from others, and throws a disruptive, antagonistic, unsolicited comment on to my page. You can practically hear it cackle through the modem as it taunts me, "Oh yeah! Well that lady smoked pot in college! I saw it on Fox News!" Post a picture of Caro riding a horse with a caption, "So proud of this kiddo!"? My Troll gives a thunderous laugh from deep down in its belly and shouts on to my page, "Oh yeah! Well, riding is for rich kids!"

You may notice that my Fairy Godmother/Good Witch is gendered- if I have one it is most certainly female. For reasons I won't get into in this post, I know my invisible support system is female like my mom, but I should mention my visible, tangible, not mystical Fairy is male and he's around every day. His name is Andy and he is the Fairy Kitty Litter Scooper, Fairy Snow Remover, Fairy Garbage Taker Outer, Fairy Listen to Me When I Call Crying At Work-Dude. And, while I am not sure if Andy has a Fairy Godmother/Witch/Wizard/Father, he has many, many Trolls. If you don't have a Troll, and you want one, I suggest signing up for public service. It's a surefire way to get yourself a Troll.

You may also notice that my Troll is referred to in gender neutral terms because my Trolls are male and female. Trolls come in all shapes, sizes, ages and genders. Trolls are equal opportunity and, as a matter of fact, if you are interested, you can become a Troll yourself! All you need is decent internet access, a social media account, (you can use your own name if you'd like, or, if you are creative, make one up!) and a willingness to drag the meddlesome, angry, disruptive part of yourself from under the shadows of the bridge it hides under into the broad, blue light of online day, where your family members, kids' teachers, high school classmates, neighbors and co-workers live.

See? Did you think that magic wasn't real and mythical creatures likes Fairy Godmothers and Trolls aren't real? Don't lose faith. Trolls and Fairies are everywhere, you just need to be open to them. Or, have a social media account.